There was a long period of time when a movie or hit show was coming out, and a video game adaptation wasn’t far away. Why wouldn’t I want to play through the adventures of Mary Kate and Ashley? They’ve been part of some peak cinema. I’m kidding, of course, butpicking up that Charlie And The Chocolate Factory gamereally was the exact same thing; I can admit it, my taste is bad.
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The thing is, there are more than a few games that are practically begging some bigshot producer to give the go-ahead. We may all be aware of what happens whena game like Assassin’s Creedor Doom is made into a movie, but there’s always a chance we get a TV show like Castlevania or The Last Of Us.
10Tetris
They made a Battleship movie. I know they could make aTetrismovie. A hilarious invasion flick of an alien race that drops Tetris blocks on unwitting people writes itself. Send for a guy like Hugh Jackman to be humanity’s last line of defensebefore that dreaded I-Block drops.
Of course, Jackman would be there to save the day with his dulcet tones in the most over-the-top Tetris musical number imaginable. Aliens, musical numbers, and Hugh Jackman? Seriously, how has someone not made this movie yet?
9Stardew Valley
Stardew Valleyis just ripe for some kind of rom-com adaptation,thanks to all the romance options. The title could be something like “Stardew Valley: Diggin’ Up Love.” Sure, there could be plenty of farming and romance, but I’d be waiting for the hour-long detour into the mines.
Everyone would be on the edge of their seats to find out how the standard love story would resolve while the farmer battled their way through yet another floor just before midnight. Although, maybe a movie where the farmer runs around holding dandelions over their head to pass out as gifts isn’t such a good idea.
8Divekick
I refuse to believe people wouldn’t love a movie or show based on an idea as simple and absurd as Divekick. You jump, and then you divekick; that’s it. There’d be so many questions, why are they dive kicking, and to what end?
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An entire ultra-serious plot about a fighting tournament with a room full of people with their hands all uniformly tucked in their pockets just sounds like a goofy joy. Throw in some celebrity cameos for good measure, too, because it would be hilarious to see The Rock or Conor McGregor getting ready to Divekick.
7The Sims
I know thatThe Simsis a game filled with ordinary people that you control the lives of, but Hollywood totally would try to make some kind of TV series based on a popular game with minimal story.
I’d picture it as something as wild as Riverdale. Maybe one week The Sims need an astronaut plot, and another week, they need to fend off some rowdy teenage vampires. The creators could play a sick joke on the audience, too, by recasting the main character’s actor for each episode while they remain the exact same character.
You could do so much with Octodad: Dadliest Catch. A movie revolving around an octopus in disguise as a regular person could manage to be both an unrivaled comedy and an emotional romance. It would have to be animated, of course; no octopi need to be harmed in the making of this movie.
If the wife was having feelings of doubt, like Octodad was pulling away, maybe that could cause some heartbreaking tension in the relationship. Just imagine the hilarious lengths Octodad would have to go to in order to explain everything is fine without blowing his cover.
5Skyward Sword
An adaptation ofSkyward Swordjust kind of makes sense, doesn’t it? The game has all the things that studio heads practically drool over. It’s got a cutesy first-romance plot, a young nobody turned hero,a trusty animal companion, and a unique creature in Fi.
I guess you don’t have to go the obvious route. You could make it into a suspense thriller. Link could be a hardened detective trying to solve the murder of Zelda, all while the villainous Ghirahim continues to stalk the night. That’s a huge leap from the original story, but none of us would be surprised if an adaptation like this ended up getting made at this point, would we?
4Untitled Goose Game
I’m generally not in favor of making animals act in movies, but watching a film crew follow aGoosearound while it terrorized people would probably be amazing. Just a super guerilla-style shoot with a small crew and one irate goose.
They could take the cold stance of never interfering with the subject, simply letting the goose steal a hat from an old man or shut off an elderly woman’s hose. The only question everyone would have the entire time would be whether or not the goose was going to turn its wrath on the crew.
3Kingdom Hearts
Who wouldn’t love aKingdom HeartsTV series? It might just be the most confusing children’s cartoon of all time, but in the end, that’s what friendship is all about! Right? There’s probably some weird rights issue keeping something like this from happening, but come on,a full Gummi Ship sequenceon TV could be great!
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Imagine the confusion the audience would have when the plot got to Kingdom Hearts 2. All of a sudden, ten episodes would be spent watching Roxas just go about his daily life. The whole thing makes me wonder if the side games would be included in the story. It just makes my head hurt as much as if I were actually trying to make sense of the story from the games.
2Goat Simulator
In another instance of “a real animal would totally need to be used,”Goat Simulatorcould be a hilarious film in the right circumstances. The only challenge would be finding the right goat with enough sass and energy to become an absolute legend.
Imagine a goat running down the street, screaming its head off, all before it suddenly launched itself at the nearest unwitting person. It would be like watching a barnyard version of Jackass with a single goat and a whole lot of unwilling participants.
1Mass Effect
Just let Shepard dance. I mean, sure, a fantastic and sprawling space opera likeMass Effecton the big screen is kind of what the world needs, as Star Wars and Star Trek continue to be middling at best, but those dance moves.
Everyone wants a wonderfully fulfilling adventure that could easily be adapted to a kind of Game Of Thrones-style show, but I just want to experience that huge tone shiftto The Citadel DLC. Going from a serious invasion to a hilarious clone plot, only to then jump back to the serious invasion, wouldn’t work in the best way possible.
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