Some people playDungeons and Dragonsfor the legends or the honor of a kingdom saved. Others start the game in order to build an evil genius corporation and earn fat stacks in the fantasy stock market. If that’s the play style for you, then Acquisitions Incorporated is the expansion you need.
Related:Unique Backstory Ideas For Dungeons and Dragons
Along with providing your very own start-up business adventure, the book adds seven new spells with hilarious descriptions and creative uses to get ahead in this kobold-eat-kobold world. Most of these spells are useful in social situations. However, when dealing with mergers worth millions, anything can spark an all-out war.
7Fast Friends
Labor isn’t cheap, and it’s not like your new endeavor is bringing in the cash yet, anyway. So, for an hour, convince someone to do all the little odd jobs you don’t have time to do, such as printing brochures, picking up the coffee, or cleaning the break room. The creature only needs to be smart enough to understand your language and stupid enough to fail a Wisdom saving throw.It’s a third level spell, so you’ll need a fifth level Bard, Cleric, or Wizard.
However, for every spell slot higher than third, you can add another creature, quickly increasing the number of unpaid interns at your disposal. If the act goes against their best interest, then they’ll get to make another wisdom saving throw, but other spells like Bane or the School of Divination Portent ability can make sure they roll in your favor. Be prepared with a pizza party after the hour is up (or longer if you recast it), as the target will know you charmed them.
6Motivational Speech
Turn your HR department into unbeatable machines by thanking them all for their hard work and promising them a holiday party at the end of the year, thus imbuing them with five temporary hit points and advantage on Wisdom saving throws. That’s not all; if one of your employees gets hit by a successful attack, they will have advantage on their next attack roll thanks to your Motivational Speech.
Related:Dungeons and Dragons: Awesome Social Encounters
It will affect up to five creatures, and up-casting it will add to the temporary hit points they each get. The spell ends on a creature when they run out of their temporary hit points, or an hour elapses. A bard or cleric will have to write their speech before battle as it will take a whole minute to rile up the masses, and they’ll only be drawing attention to themselves if they attempt to do it during combat.
5Incite Greed
Distractions can be tricky, especially if your entire party is made up of smooth-talking Bards with no points into Stealth. Incite Greed is a hilarious spell in this setting, especially as it affects any number of creatures within 30 feet. If they all fail a Wisdom saving throw, they’ll become enthralled by a gem worth a measly 50 gold and wordlessly walk up to you to stare at it. During this time, the rest of the team can clean away dead bodies, sketchy tax returns, and all the good ballpoint pens in the office.
Related:Dungeons and Dragons: How To Make An Overpowered Wizard
It lasts up to a minute, and each creature gets another chance at the Wisdom saving throw every six seconds, so have someone on standby to get rid of those who shake it off. As long as you don’t hurt the mesmerized creatures, it’s possible toforce them to stand five feet from youfor the entire minute, unaware of their surroundings or any illicit activities others may be getting up to.
4Gift Of Gab
We’ve all had those moments where you’ve said the wrong thing in front of the wrong person, like spilling all of your plans for world domination in front of that intern no one likes. This is the perfect spell for those awkward moments and only requires a reaction to cast. Any number of creatures within five feet will be affected, reconstructing everything you said within the last six seconds for the price of two gold coins.
Related:Dungeons and Dragons: The Best Caster Feats, Ranked
It’s essentially your very own Neuralyzer from The Men In Black, allowing you to reconstruct whatever gossip you’ve let slip into something much less scandalous. The verbal component of the spell is simply saying whatever it is you wish you’d said, and the creatures' memories will adapt accordingly. This is great when someone doesn’t react the way you’d hoped to something sensitive or if a risqué joke doesn’t quite land.
3Jim’s Magic Missiles
Jim’s Magic Missiles might be so high on this list purely because of their description. In today’s society of health-conscious individuals, it’s important to ensure your magical balls of force don’t cause any allergic reactions or upset tummies. This is why these missiles are guaranteed hypoallergenic and gluten-free. And,for a first level spell slot, they can do an impressive amount of force damage.
There are three missiles, and each one needs a ranged spell attack die roll. On hit, they do a reasonable 2d4 damage; however, on a critical success, instead of doing the usual double damage, you get to roll 5d4 dice. The backlash of this considerate spell is that a critical failure will mean the missiles turn around to strike you, but they only do one point of damage to the caster.
2Jim’s Glowing Coin
In a similar vein to Incite Greed, this spell uses something shiny to distract your competition. Any number of creatures within 30ft of Jim’s Glowing Coin will need to make a Wisdom saving throw or be distracted by the coin for a whole minute. you’re able to use any coin for it, but it will use up two gold as tax for spell components. The best use of the spell is before a fight has begun, but when you know the tide is shifting against your favor.
You simply flick the coin into the center of the group; anyone that fails the save will have disadvantage on Wisdom check and initiative rolls. It could also be helpful during negotiation deals.
1Distort Value
Another great trick during negotiations, Distort Value does what it says on the box, either doubling the perceived value of any 1ft by 1ft object or halving it by casting an illusion. It’s only a first level spell too, but up-casting it will increase the possible size of the object. Distort Value lasts for eight hours, so you could even leave the item behind while you make your escape.
If you need to fool some guards during a bank heist, swap the treasure for something similar and cast Distort Value; if you’re selling something at a pawn shop, be sure to get the price you want for it. On the other hand, if you need to hide something precious while you’re away, then make it look cheap and ugly to deter would-be thieves.
Next:Dungeons and Dragons: The Most Useful Cantrips, Ranked
