Isaac Clarke, the brave engineer and protagonist ofDead Space, would have never survived the harsh and horrible circumstances if it wasn’t for their handy Plasma Cutter tool. While intended as a materials processing device, it served as a valuable and effective weapon against the USDA-certified nightmares known as the Necromorphs.
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It’s easily earned its place among the most memorable weapons in gaming. But the Plasma Cutter’s fame shouldn’t be limited to just its efforts on the USG Ishimura. Plenty of other games would be much easier if they had one of these bad boys in stock.
8Elden Ring
Elden Ringpresents a rich and beautiful world brimming with a deep and engaging narrative. If you’re able to get to it, that is. It’sa difficult game from a developer notorious for difficulty, which can be felt with each new milestone. From serpent gods to secret ghost snails.
The Plasma Cutter would make short work of even the beefiest of enemies in the Lands Between. Three-headed dragon? Not after three shots from this bad boy. The GodSkin Duo can be reduced to more than just two pieces. And we’re pretty sure the Elden Beast is made of pure plasma, after all, so what better tool to cut it than a Plasma Cutter? It’s right there in the name!
The Grafted Scion might take a little while to whittle down, though.
7Literally Any Kirby Game
We know what you’re thinking. How can a game series as cute and colorful asKirbyhave any need for something so gritty, sci-fi, and industrial? But the answer is simple: Every Kirby game is secretly a horror story.
Picka Kirby game, any game. How did it end? In Dream Land, it’s a literal nightmare demon feeding on the fears of all things. Kirby Super Star’s Milky Way Wishes? You collect all the parts of an all-powerful wish granter only to be betrayed by a tiny Chaos God. And don’t even get us started on the Akira-Meets-Final-Fantasy-7 conclusion to Kirby and the Forgotten Lands.
They already gave Kirby a gun. At what point do we all stop lying to ourselves and just give that little pink puffball a deadly space laser? Maybe then the Waddle-Dee death count can stop hitting the thousands every few years.
6Wii Sports
This hit title, which came free with every purchase of a new Nintendo Wii system, has become a staple in gaming culture. Seemingly everyone has memories of trying to physically recreate the motions ofbowling, tennis, and baseball. The problem, however, is that the technology is not perfect. Plenty of swings and punches, even in perfect execution, will flub in the game’s environment, causing gutter balls and strikeouts.
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If every Mii was instead equipped with a standard-issue Plasma Cutter? Suddenly sports have become a lot easier. And with the built-in rotational nozzle feature, you can choose between severing your targets in either horizontal or vertical orientation; it’s perfect for whether you’re trying to go for a clean sweep or just struggling with that pesky seven-ten split.
5PowerWash Simulator
Thisbizarrely satisfying cleaning simulatorgame has taken the internet by a clean and soapy storm. With nothing but a pressure washer in hand, you are tasked with cleaning the gunk and grime off of any and all surfaces. Some job sites are just massive, though, taking hours to meticulously spray off every corner and crevice. This is especially difficult when dealing with hard-to-clean blemishes like rust.
You know what doesn’t struggle with removing rust? A Schofield Tools brand Model 211-V Directed-energy mining tool. With just one little projectile smooch, this Plasma Cutter’s good goo will have any surface inPowerWash Simulatorfree of debris, rust, organic matter, and solid structure. In fact, with enough patience, you could completely evaporate whatever unclean object is placed in front of you. After all, is there anything cleaner than complete discorporation?
4Tetris
Any piece can be a line piece with the right equipment; just sayin’.
3Stray
The potential benefits here aren’t regarding the plot, the environment, or even the objectives. One ofStray’s biggest praises has been its realistic depiction of the behavior and movementof real world cats. That is where the true beauty of this idea lies.
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The Plasma Cutter comes from a horror game. But it was used as a tool of protection. Cats are ungovernable, unpredictable, and deep down, a predator. If there’s anything capable of instilling fear, it’s equipping one with a Plasma Cutter.
Ok, so maybe the game wouldn’t be ‘easier.’ We just want to see what happens when we give one to a cat.
2FIFA 17
The technology behind the Plasma Cutter is more than just a mashup of medical equipment and flashlights. It contains some advanced and complicated processes. This is why FIFA 17 would be the perfect place to roll it out.FIFA 17is the first game in the series to make the jump to the Frostbite engine, allowing for powerful (maybe even ‘cutting-edge?’) graphics and simulations.
It would also allow us to see the cutter’s potential in a more competitive format, with every player having their own models. The only concern is that, per sports rules, they can only operate the Plasma Cutter with their feet.
Even so, we’re sure this would make the sport significantly easier for everyone and is in no way a terrible idea.
1Backgammon
Let’s be frank; not all classics can stand the test of time. Outdated design methodologies or limited technology catch up to countless games, making them either a bore, or a struggle, to enjoy. Backgammon is arguably the biggest victim of this. Why not spruce up the entire thing with a couple of Plasma Cutters?
The biggest hang-up in Backgammon is the inability to place your pieces on any of those long triangles if more than one of your opponent’s pieces are currently on that triangle. This can easily be solved by using the Plasma Cutter to sever that section of the board into two separate chunks. Now theirs only one piece in the way and you’re free to roll on to victory.
Your opponent may not agree with this method, but what are they going to do about it? Nothing, you’re the one with the plasma cutter.
