This is extremely embarrassing for me to admit, but one of the first things I do when I wake up is open State of Survival and check on my settlement. I collect the soldiers I trained overnight, I collect energy bonuses so my troops can go out into the zombie-infested wilderness and gather intel’, which is just stuff on a radar you’re able to send your troops to collect or fight. I clear intel collected over the night immediately. I verify my research station is put to work. I make sure troops are training. I collect all the various rewards claimable for that day.
I play it while I listen to podcasts before going to sleep. I play it on the train while I commute. I used to sneakily play it at work when I was a receptionist at a hair salon, only to slam my phone face down on the desk when someone came up behind me for fear of them discovering my guilty pleasure. It is a real point of shame for me, that I can’t seem to stop playing this game with no objective, little plot, and very few qualities to write home about (if any). Don’t even ask how I started playing this game, but I promise it wasbefore the weird adsstarted getting put on everything.
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If I don’t do these things, I will, at some point during the day, jolt upright with an unpleasant shock as I realised I’ve forgotten to log in for my streak. I have played every day since I started - that’s 208 days and counting. There were a few days when I was climbing into bed to go to sleep before realising I hadn’t checked on the game at all. I felt real guilt about these days - I think about the wasted stamina I could’ve been using to kill infected fiends, the rewards I could’ve been collecting, the challenges I could’ve been completing.
I can’t lie, my relationship with thisidle gamemakes meuncomfortable. I don’t enjoy playing it, it’s more a matter of feeling compelled to keep maintaining my level of activity. The level of my headquarters going up gives me a small jolt of endorphins, but it’s taking longer and longer to get to each level - it’s taking over two weeks per level now, because I’m at level 30, and the next level up puts me in the plasma leagues with the big boys. I probably could’ve gotten there faster if I’d paid my way through like a lot of players do, but I’m morally against spending money on games that I’m not even that fond of.
There’s something here about idle games and capitalism, I know. I go through the motions, collect my resources, go to sleep for the night, wake up, do it all again. I tap, tap, tap. It adds no value to my life but I get a little burst of satisfaction when I see I’m a higher level than someone else. And maybe a little more satisfaction when I burn their settlement to the ground for no reason. I’m chasing a higher level, more resources, knowing damn well there’s nothing materially added to my life as I pursue these things. So why do I keep doing it? Am I nothing but a hamster on a wheel, determined to reach the pinnacle of success in a virtual zombie apocalypse?
I think it’s time to delete the app, but my ADD-riddled brain needs something mindless to do while I consume media that actually matters to me. Maybe tomorrow will be the day I find the will to tap out of this endless cycle of collecting and spending. Probably not.
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