According toNintendo,Mariohas only ever had seven jobs. Those are; plumber, doctor, racer, martial artist, professional baseball player, soccer player, and basketball player, but that feels like a brazen lie. Over the years we have witnessed this mustachioed menace working in countless other professions.
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That clearly means one of two things, either Mario is falsifying his employment history, or this Italian is a bold-faced liar willing to work in highly niche positions without actually being trained and employed to do so. So what jobs are this deviant most unqualified for, and is he putting the good people of theMushroom Kingdomat risk?
18Plumber
The good news about this position is we know Mario is good at it. In fact, he shows his skill as a tradesman constantly in his many adventures. Every time he jumps down a pipe, he may as well be unclogging the Mushroom Kingdom’s toilets for another month.
Although if we were him, we would really start talking to whoever hires him about dropping living creatures down the drain. They’ve neglected to clear the sewage system so much that fire-breathing plant life has begun sprouting out of it.
17Carpenter
It is somewhat strange that Nintendo seems to have forgotten that Mario started his journeyed career as a carpenter before a great big gorilla kidnapped Pauline. But maybe that is part of the journeyman life lifestyle, learning versatile crafts as he travels, so he’s always employable.
The reassuring thing is that he’s probably a quality carpenter ifhis skill with a hammeris anything to go by. Although we have never actually seen a finished woodworking project from Mario - a little suspicious if you ask us…
16Painter
This is probably Mario’s most healthy side hustle. Anyone can be an artist if they devote enough time and passion to it. Who needs are degree if you’re willing to learn.
The NES controller or a two-button mouse isn’t exactly the most traditional of paintbrushes, but plenty of artists have gone all digital with their work. Good for him for having a hobby.
15Driver
We may have never seen him get a license, but we all know Mario can drive. From mopeds, to dirtbikes, to hovering go-karts, if it has wheels Mario can make it purr.
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And while the kid is fast, you’d be right to be worried about sharing the road with him. His penchant for throwing bombs and shells at other drivers in fits of road rage has surely gotten him countless tickets. However, the worst thing is that he’s willing to litter out the window while driving. Keep your banana peels for the compost, Mario!
14Sporting God
It’s rare for an athlete to partake in more than one or two sports at a competitive level during their life. Mario though? He’s a different breed of athlete.
He’s played soccer, tennis, basketball, baseball, volleyball, hockey,rugby, golf, badminton, dressage, handball, and table tennis, while also finding the time to snowboard, swim, wrestle, sprint, hurdle, hammer throw, pole vault, box, fence, ski, and partake in archery, and judo.
13Race Track Owner
It’s hard to tell if Mario owns all the Mario Circuits or if it’s just a Circuit Paul Ricard situation where they are just named after him.
Either way, he’s been a successful enough driver, he probably deserves it.
12Dancer
Mario does more than just tap his foot like Sonic. He had a short-lived career as a break dancer.
Although we can’t help but feel like Waluigi would be better on the dance floor than Mario.
11Actor
If you ask Miyymoto, he’ll tell you that Mario and Co. have always been a travelling troop of actors putting on different shows over the years and each time they play different roles. Not dissimilar to Popeye and how some weeks Bluto would be a Pirate and some weeks he would play a beautiful woman.
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What adds even more credence to this idea is that all of Super Mario Bros. 2 is actually Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toad putting on a show live on stage!
10Janitor
To be fair to Mario, he didn’t actually ask to clean up Delfino Island inMario Sunshine; he was made to do it as community service. But he is still woefully underqualified for the scale of the job.
9Professional Member Of The NBA
We all know Mario was good enough at basketball to play 3-On-3 Hoops, and even represented the Mushroom Kingdom at the Olympics, but he actually went semi-pro for a bit in NBA Street.
This deserves its own entry because in that game he wasn’t styling on amateurs like Bowser and Sonic, but was going toe-to-toe with the likes of Magic Johnson, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James. Although, we do have to say that his height disadvantage, really makes it feel like he is just a benchwarmer signed to bring good press to his team.
